The Roanoke Slant
This file is a very brief diary of some examples of the Roanoke Times slant.
Comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Only in America: The Top Ten
Author Unknown -- but clearly Not found in the Roanoke Times
1) Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich
at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund raising event.
2) Only in America could people claim that the government still
discriminates against black Americans when we have a black President,
a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is
black. 12% of the population is black.
3) Only in America could we have had the two people most responsible
for our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury
Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means
Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher
4) Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of
Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims
might be harmed by the backlash.
5) Only in America would we make people who want to legally become
American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens
of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting
anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American
6) Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the
budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as
7) Only in America could you need to present a driver's license to
cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
8) Only in America could people demand the government investigate
whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas
went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company
(Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes
9) Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from
the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion
dollars more than it has per year for total spending of $7 million PER
MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.
10) Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income
taxes be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't
pay any income taxes at all.
"If you voted for Barack Obama in 2008 to prove you're not a racist,
You'll have to vote for Romney in 2012 to prove you're not an idiot."